Giving Voice to the Unbearable

Since the release of her self-published book Hablare—I Will Speak, Janine Lefebvre has received countless messages from readers moved by her courage and the sincerity of her story. Each message echoes the same truth underlining the importance of “giving voice” to pain.

This collection of deeply personal writings, penned each day following  the suicide of her son Charles in 2008, was never meant to be published. “I wrote to survive,” she simply says.

A Life-Changing Encounter

Beginning in 2020, heartfelt conversations with Pamphile Guigonou Akplogan, Ph.D., a friend of Benin she met through the spiritual movement Les Amis de Maurice Zundel, gradually transformed her private writing into an act of shared healing. “No one had ever read it—not my husband, not even my children,” Janine recalls.

Pamphile was the first. Deeply moved by what he read, he saw in her journal a light that could help other parents or loved ones facing the same kind of loss.

For three years, he gently encouraged her to make her words public — “to support, through meditation and reflection, parents and others coping with the suicide of a child or a loved one.”

From Grief to Sharing

It wasn’t until a pivotal meeting—a support group led by Pamphile for people living with mental health challenges—that Janine finally agreed.

“I remember there were four or five people who had attempted suicide in the group. A few days later, I gave Pamphile my approval, and he took care of everything,” she recounts.

Revisiting her own words years later proved painful but essential. “It was a difficult step … but a necessary one,” she admits.

The Healing Power of Words

The book’s launch, held at Manoir Ellice in Beauharnois, drew a full house and heartfelt responses. Many testimonies confirmed what Pamphile had told her from the beginning: “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

Through this experience, Janine came to realize how deeply the taboo around suicide runs—and how heavy the silence can be. “I think everyone, in one way or another, has been touched by suicide,” she reflects.

A Journey of Faith and Transformation

Hablare—I Will Speak is more than a story of loss—it is a testimony of life, faith, and inner transformation.

“I received great graces during that time. It doesn’t erase the pain, but it expands your experience of life. In the end, I wrote about how I was immersed in something greater that sustained me.”

Janine also speaks in her book about her deep connection with the Sisters of the Holy Names of Jesus and Mary (SNJM) and how her journey as an SNJM Associate has nurtured her reflection and resilience.

 

And Now, a New Chapter…

Encouraged by the touching feedback, Janine is preparing a second edition with additional reflections and photographs. Friends have even approached publishers to help bring this next version to life. But for her, the initial purpose remains unchanged:  “To open hearts, broaden horizons, and bring comfort.”

Her book begins with a quote by Lytta Basset, included in the preface by Pamphile—a passage that beautifully captures the essence of her journey:

“If we allow it, the death of a loved one introduces us to that inner realm where everything begins to speak to us, even our own bodies. It is as though every reality of this world, every particle of our being, is doubled by an invisible side—vibrating with inexhaustible meaning.”